Hubris
Just wanted to write a bit about the change in attitude between America and Vietnam. Indeed, there's a change in attitude over time for myself and everyone else on the trip as we've been here.
Last week I taught Long the greeting "Sup, dude!" and the body language that went with it. I told him to tilt his head back while maintaining eye contact. He greets me every now and then by saying "Sup, dude!" and tilts his head way back but looks straight up; unable to make eye contact. He told me doing so would be far too aggressive.
Makes sense. The greeting is a way American men say to each other "Hey, I'm a tough, macho, stand-offish dude. If I smile too much or let down my guard you'll jump all over it." Here, it's the exact opposite: hands at your sides, bow lightly, smile and pleasantly say "Xin chao! Chao ban."
In Viet Nam, the first thing you do is let down your guard. Once you get to know someone, then you can get serious and talk and debate. In America, you put up your guard and only after you get to know someone do you open up and become friendly.
America is the worst place to meet people.
A couple days ago I posted about how angry some of the other Americans on the tour made me because of the attitude they copped here. My parents read this blog, of course, and Mom sent me an email saying I shouldn't be so hard on the others in the group. You can't blame them for feeling uncomfortable in such a foreighn place.
She's completely right, and if anything I was the one copping an attitude and acting superior. For that I feel pretty embarrassed.
Yesterday conversations between myself and the students were noticeably different. There was much more of the Vietnamese lack of hubris among us. I would make an observation about something, someone else would say they disagreed with my observation and I would very honestly and curiously ask them why. Then I'd listen to their reasons intently, give my very humbled reaction to their observations and they'd do likewise.
Rather than the standard American left vs. right debate everything degenerates to everyone more and more was engaging in a more open, explorative discussion. More and more we're letting go of our arrogance and accepting.
Perhaps that's why this country has pushed me over the edge toward Buddhism for good? The whole attitude here is Buddhist. It's OK to just let things happen, because that's how good is done. Stop trying to control everything and just let go.
Last week I taught Long the greeting "Sup, dude!" and the body language that went with it. I told him to tilt his head back while maintaining eye contact. He greets me every now and then by saying "Sup, dude!" and tilts his head way back but looks straight up; unable to make eye contact. He told me doing so would be far too aggressive.
Makes sense. The greeting is a way American men say to each other "Hey, I'm a tough, macho, stand-offish dude. If I smile too much or let down my guard you'll jump all over it." Here, it's the exact opposite: hands at your sides, bow lightly, smile and pleasantly say "Xin chao! Chao ban."
In Viet Nam, the first thing you do is let down your guard. Once you get to know someone, then you can get serious and talk and debate. In America, you put up your guard and only after you get to know someone do you open up and become friendly.
America is the worst place to meet people.
A couple days ago I posted about how angry some of the other Americans on the tour made me because of the attitude they copped here. My parents read this blog, of course, and Mom sent me an email saying I shouldn't be so hard on the others in the group. You can't blame them for feeling uncomfortable in such a foreighn place.
She's completely right, and if anything I was the one copping an attitude and acting superior. For that I feel pretty embarrassed.
Yesterday conversations between myself and the students were noticeably different. There was much more of the Vietnamese lack of hubris among us. I would make an observation about something, someone else would say they disagreed with my observation and I would very honestly and curiously ask them why. Then I'd listen to their reasons intently, give my very humbled reaction to their observations and they'd do likewise.
Rather than the standard American left vs. right debate everything degenerates to everyone more and more was engaging in a more open, explorative discussion. More and more we're letting go of our arrogance and accepting.
Perhaps that's why this country has pushed me over the edge toward Buddhism for good? The whole attitude here is Buddhist. It's OK to just let things happen, because that's how good is done. Stop trying to control everything and just let go.
posted by Chris Druckenmiller | 2:00 AM
2 Comments:
Remember that book I gave you? "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. Read it.
Yes, Dad ... I've read that book ... well, more than 1/2 of it at least :).
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